Connectedness

I have a friend. Sometimes I think about our friendship and I find it odd that we are friends. From our first meeting, there has been this odd connectedness about our lives. My friend is a big hearted, open, genuine, spiritual, forever thinking person. I love the conversations we have.

She is religious, too. In a good way, if you know what I mean. She is prayerful and wants the best for humanity, and does not make me feel that her way is the only way. I am always moved by hearing her talk about feeling called to do this, or that, or she prayed for guidance and found it. It is amazing how it works in her life.

I have, at times, been open to and actively participating in that kind of faith. I seem to go through phases when it is more intense and then almost non-existent. I am not sure why but that is how it has been. As of late though, I have been trying to open my eye and my heart to find that connectedness not just through prayer but through everything.

Last week my friend was involved in a conversation/debate with a great mind. In part the conversation was about personal responsibility for our own health, doing the work needed for good health - spiritually, good eating habits, exercise. I was reading this conversation/debate and was struck that my friend had touched a nerve with the other person and the debate had a very different tone to it. I waited sometime before I made the following comment:

It seems that the OP touched a nerve with some. This thread seemed to go beyond debate and had a tone that left me uncomfortable.

My friend replied:

I think pretty much everyone felt that tension. I used to have a tendency to run from that line. Now, I've discovered that it's always, always, always....an indicator of a learning point for me for something....if I can get past the uncomfortable feeling far enough to look at it.

My first thought after reading my friend's comment was.......I always run from it. I wonder why/how she gets past that feeling and learns something?

Her comments stayed with me.

12 hours later, I picked up an out of date magazine that another friend passed on to me. It was a magazine purchased from a used book store......(can you feel the odd connection coming?)

While leafing through this magazine I stop on an article about Pema Chodron. She is a writer and the first American woman to become a fully ordained Buddhist nun.

Kind-of interesting.................so I read on...

She talks about the path that led her to Buddhism, the break-up of two marriages and the pain that goes with it. She looked for a way to learn something from the experience.

The interviewer asks the question:

Is that what you advise we do when things fall apart -- stay with it?

The answer: (and this stopped me cold)

Yes. The problem is that we have so little tolerance for uncomfortable feelings.

At this point I have to re-read the sentence a few times because I feel the connectedness and I want to be sure I am reading it correctly.

Yes. The problem is that we have so little tolerance for uncomfortable feelings. I'm not even talking about unpleasant outer circumstances, but that feeling in your stomach of I don't want this to be happening. You try to escape it in some way, but if somehow you could stay present and touch the rawness of the experience, you can really learn something.

The rest of the article goes on to talk about the connectedness of our health and well being and how it is all connected with the ability to have true empathy and compassion....

From the debate about our spiritual connection to good health, to my own uncomfortable feelings with the debate, to my friend's comment about that uncomfortable feeling being a moment to embrace and learn from, to a Buddhist nun repeating my friend's message.........but also adding more of a personal message that I know within my heart of hearts I need to heed.

I am learning to listen to the tap, tap, tap.